If You're Going To Get Food Poisoning, At Least Visit Flavortown First

Cody Bellinger was backmost successful nan Yankees' lineup connected Wednesday, aft a time disconnected owed to what aesculapian experts mightiness picture arsenic "shitting and puking his courage out." This is simply a refreshingly straightforward test compared to nan accustomed "flu-like symptoms" suffered by athletes, which I person ever assumed was a mealymouthed screen for a hangover. Bellinger wanted everyone to cognize he was not hung over. He conscionable ate immoderate bad wings and embraced nan toilet.

Bellinger told reporters really he ordered room-service chickenhearted wings astatine his Detroit hotel, to eat while watching Monday night's NCAA men's title game. "They were bully coming in," he said, leaving to your imagination nan accusation of their value while coming out. "But I woke up astatine 4:00 a.m. sweating and conscionable started throwing up for a fewer hours."

The culprit? Traditional, bone-in wings, pinch nary sauces, spices aliases rubs.

Excuse me?

Cody Bellinger, fto maine show you a communicative astir a barroom named Chinese Fantastico, which was not really named that, and was not really a bar. It was nan Deadspin staff's go-to after-work portion spot successful nan precocious aughts and early 2010s, and it was nan mini foyer of a edifice which we ne'er patronized, preferring alternatively to beryllium astatine nan short barroom and portion endless Tsingtaos served pinch bemused equanimity by Paul nan bartender, and kick astir why we kept coming to this place. It had been chosen by A.J. Daulerio, who reveled successful campy crap everyone hated, and dubbed "Fantastico" by A.J. for its gaudy neon furnishings and cheesy ornamental fountain and palpable deficiency of fantastic-ness. If location were much than 4 of you there, it became uncomfortably crowded, blocking nan measurement of group making their measurement to nan existent restaurant. One clip a feline walked successful from nan street, calmly tucked nether his limb nan maneki-neko figurine connected nan counter, and walked out. We saw a rat successful nan fountain, doing a small Busby Berkeley routine. It was an atrocious place. I miss Fantastico astir each day.

As I said, we ne'er utilized nan edifice for its intended purpose. Once, pinch a peculiarly large group, we decided to effort being seated astatine a table; we ended up aborting that scheme moreover earlier ordering because it was weird to not beryllium astatine nan barroom successful front. We felt for illustration a chimp dressed successful quality clothes; superficially civilized against our will, and supremely uncomfortable pinch it. One time, however, toward nan tail extremity of our patronage (the Gawker offices would soon move uptown; nan edifice would soon beryllium shuttered by nan wellness department), I ordered food. I don't retrieve why I was peculiarly famished that evening, aliases really everyone reacted to this breach of tradition. I retrieve my crockery was sublime: chromatic walnut shrimp. The champion I'd ever eaten. I will ne'er cognize which of nan ingredients was nan culprit that had me, hours later, writhing connected my bath floor, pressing my feature to nan cool tile to distract maine from nan cramps ravaging my guts. It was nan first clip I'd ever had nutrient poisoning, and it remains rather perchance nan worst I've ever felt.

So, Cody Bellinger, I tin sympathize ... to a point. The civilized of my communicative is if 1 is to suffer from being chosen by E. coli's impartial flagellum of fate, 1 should astatine slightest bask oneself first. Earn nan pain. Do not walk hours of this short life barfing because you had immoderate plain chickenhearted wings. I get that athletes are freaks astir diet, but nary sauce? No spices? Nothing? Just plain chicken?

"I tin opportunity I will not eat wings for 5 years," Bellinger said. "I swear. Because nan thought of it correct now makes maine sick."

You did this to yourself, man. It's been existent easy for maine to unrecorded pinch a heavy aversion to chromatic walnut shrimp consumed adjacent to a rate register. Years without wings, 1 of nan superior nutrient groups, sounds for illustration hell.